Imposter syndrome, icky feelings, fraudy feelings for Being Boss fans. “A rose by any other name” and all that jazz. But the one thing you can hang your hat on is that icky feelings will happen, inner critics and gremlins will roam free, and we will feel it every single time. But there are things that can be done about the eventual ick.
Before pressing forward, I just want to share that while that may seem doom and gloom-ish, I want you to understand that you aren’t doing anything wrong by having them. You aren’t any different than any other human person. Everyone, even the most confident of people, have fraudulent feelings.
The Most Common Fraudy Feeling Lies We Tell Ourselves
I have rounded up the most common lies. The one’s that we tell ourselves or that mean little voice tells us. But instead of just thinking that you are getting to hear everyone else’s (they aren’t that different from yours, promise) you’re going to hear someone say the exact opposite too. And I know that even sometimes, seeing it in my own handwriting, recording something in my own voice can make a big difference.
So in short, read the positive ones aloud to yourself.
1. You’re not [blank] enough. Uh. This one blows. This one is also probably the most common because it can be applied to literally every situation you put yourself or find yourself in.
You are enough.
2. That's/You're stupid. For some reason, we are all certain that we are at least a little more dumb than everyone else on the planet. Not sure why, but I can tell you this.
You are an intelligent person.
3. He/She is better than you. Agh. This one. This falls close to “not [blank] enough” but then throws in the comparison trap to boot.
You are not inherently better or worse than any other human person.
4. You’re going to fail. This one is pretty straight forward.
You are going to fail. Fail, fall down, but pick yourself back up and take away the lesson.
5. I can’t do [blank]. Can’t and won’t are two different things. One is about capability while the other is purely desire or lack thereof. So to that, I say this, in the words of the great, late D.L. Hansel.
Do or don’t, that’s on you. But no matter what you choose, don’t half ass it.
What Makes Them Lies
The thing that really defines our truth is how much stock we actually put into something. For example, D.L. Hansel made him sound like a great literary contributor or a great thinker of his time. And while for all I know he was either, what I knew him as was my step father. But didn’t it make you feel good? Knowing what you knew to be true coming out of a great man’s mouth? Sometimes is makes me feel better just knowing that I can be wrong about something. Because if I can be wrong about the other Marsters brother’s name, then I can be wrong about how dumb I am. And so can you.
So if no one told you today, you’re pretty, you’re smart, and you have a great ass. ; )